We all know the type, those ‘bully’ mums who seem to run the school and are just downright mean. They show up at school, soccer games, and even in the online school community group. They have a knack for making everyone miserable and can put you off getting involved. If you know someone like this, here is how to deal with overpowering mums at school.
If you are on the receiving end of the overpowering mum’s tantrums or nasty words, it can be really demoralizing and you can start to doubt yourself. It might make you feel embarrassed and isolated from everyone else who just goes along with it all. However, as a mum, you need to stand up for yourself in the right way and be an example to your kids that bullying is just not on.
Realise The Bullying Isn’t About You
The first thing to realise is that the bullying probably isn’t about you at all. It more than likely stems from a place of insecurity, and there is something great about you that she finds intimidating or is jealous of. She might feel jealous of you, your success, your children, or your marriage, whatever it is, being overpowering and acting like a bully is her way of expressing this.
Once you realise this, you can stop taking the bullying to heart, and know that there really is nothing wrong with you at all.
Keep Your Cool
The worst thing you could do is get involved in an argument. Try your best to keep your cool and avoid becoming emotional, upset, or angry, this could make it worse. This is incredibly difficult, but engaging with them fuels the fire and makes things spiral.
Think of it this way – they are making the choice to be a bully, so you have your own choice in how you respond. Make it a choice you would be proud of.
Don’t Back Down
While you should not aggravate the situation, you should call the overpowering mum out. Speak to her privately and just let her know you are not going to put up with her behaviour anymore. Do not call her out in public, as this is below you and you don’t want to stoop to her level. Be assertive but respectful, and draw some very clear boundaries. Many of these women rely on their victims not speaking up, catch her off guard, and point out her actions.
Always Pick Your Battles
It can be incredibly exhausting trying to engage with a mean mum over every inappropriate thing she does, and if it is pettiness she prefers, it is better to just ignore it. You might land up spending all your time calling her out with no actual change.
By ignoring her, it might also get her to stop. These mums overpower and bully for a reaction, so don’t give her the reaction she wants.
Bully, overpowering mums are sure to show up somewhere in your parenting journey. Don’t let them get to you, call them out, and at the end of the day, rise above them and be sure in who you are!