Every parent has been there – the moment when your kids go too far, don’t calm down and completely push you over the edge. It can be so difficult to stay calm when this happens. You have had a tough day, you have stress from work and bills to pay, and the kids just pile it on.
There is no switch that flips once our kids are born that makes us more patient or more ready to handle the extra stress that their behaviour can bring, it is something we have to teach ourselves.
They are figuring life out as they go, learning how to deal with their emotions and finding their place in this big world, and sometimes this gets the better of them, which can then cause some bad behaviour. Here is how to stay calm when your kids push you over the edge!
Remember how you handle these situations will be a great example of how your children handle their emotions throughout life, which makes it even more important to remain calm.
Identify Your Emotions
When you feel yourself becoming upset, you need to identify your emotions. Take a moment and think about what you are feeling – are you irritated, hurt, frustrated?
Being able to identify what you are feeling will give you the tools needed to find a way forward on how to handle the situation. If it is frustration with your child not cleaning up, you could then look for the cause of the problem, and work with your child to solve it.
Once you have identified your emotions, you can start managing them and changing them. This is an invaluable skill that every person should have.
Take A Step Back
Acting in anger or frustration hardly ever works out well. For yourself, and as a good lesson to your child, take a step back when you feel angry. You could even explain to your child that you are feeling frustrated and need to take a few breaths to calm down before dealing with the situation.
This gives you the opportunity to act in a calmer manner. Doing this gives you a chance of handling the situation better. It also cuts down the risk of saying something in anger that you would later regret.
See It From Their Side
It can be so difficult to do this, but you need to see the problem from your child’s perspective. Doing this allows you to understand why they are upset. This then helps you to hold back on any irrational irritation.
Our kids see the world differently from us. Understanding this gives you the right mindset to help them deal with the issue. Once you see things from their side, there is a better chance that you would hold back on your frustration.
It also gives you the understanding you need to help them work through the issues that they are experiencing.
Staying calm when your child pushes you over the edge is one of the best lessons you could set for them!